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Dan Mayer

Schizophrenia

Turn in date: 4/10


First off my name is John Billsmary. Each day I go through brings me closer to my ultimate purpose in life, to change the world. Years ago while eating a sandwich while sitting on the side of the street I talked with god. There was no body there and many looked at me oddly as they walked by because I was speaking out loud to god which no one could see and as god told me only I could hear him. He told me that he would lead me to change the world. That many would oppose what I would do but I must complete it for humanity. Since then is each for gods signs and I live a humble life. I work as a part time janitor at sears to pay for food and my room. All this pressure and work for god also causes me to drink a lot for relaxation. Which is what I have done tonight. I will sleep until god sends his next signs to me.

7:43 the clock says as someone voice force me to awake. God has given me a sign, only 743 days left of my mission. I sit up and wonder if that means I will go to heaven then or live out the rest of my life on this earth. My stomach burns with hunger, I walk to Wendy’s. I am getting breakfast I some says to me, “terrible think our men stuck in China.” I laugh as I realize this is also meant for me. Part of my mission is to help the men in china. I must go there. The person stares at me after I stop laughing. He must know of my mission. He knows I will change the world. He will try to stop me, I push my tray forward onto the floor and run screaming, “he has a gun he has a gun.” I am back at my apartment once again safe from the man sent to change my mission.

How to get to China, I haven’t showered in three days I think as I see myself in the mirror. God leaves no time for such superficial personal need. 3 wait three days that is the first number of my parents phone number. God think my parents my give me the money to get to China. Where is the phone, I can hear its electricity but I just can’t find the phone. If I could only trace the electrical signal of the phone, but god hasn’t given me that ability yet. I see the phone. Someone must have been in my room and moved it. I hide behind a bookshelf cover with books that have significance to my mission. I dial quickly hoping to leave before someone returns to my apartment room.

Someone answers, “Hello,” I wait for a second hello so I can guarantee that it is my father sometime the FBI has tried to switch people on me. “Hello,” a second time it is him. I finally respond, “Father, it is I don’t say my name others may hear.” He responds, “Others, what is wrong now? Are you in jail again?” I don’t have time for his questions what if the person returns, “China it is where I must go, you have heard the men. The men in China, that is where I must be and go. See for the money of China I called you. Send me to China before the man returns to hide my phone I may never be able to call again.” A brief pause, “Son, have you quit taking your medicine?” He doesn’t understand the urgency no one does, “ That wasn’t medicine it was little controls the switches they were putting switches into my head to they could control and stop, what must be done. I must be in China. It will all change soon only 743 more days. That reminds me I must pay my rent yes 320 is half of 743, 320 is due for rent. That doesn’t matter now. For now I must be in China. Can you put me there?” A raise in tone with the response, “ John, you have to keep taking your medicine I will call your doctor and parole officer…” I hang up the phone, damn only 45 seconds left he said my name. I quickly grab my notes and drawings about the mission. I run out the door. I need to find a new place to stay. The have tapped the line and know where I am.

Without my home I spend the first night sleeping in the streets. I can get a new place with my next check. Why had I called my father anyway I have a job I don’t need money. My mission doesn’t require money I just live humbly with food and a place to stay. Damn my left ear itches someone’s spirit is crawling into my head. I scratch frantically trying to pull them out. I can feel it. It is to late this will put me days behind on my mission. The next 3 days I fight over control of my own body with the other spirit in me. I only have enough control to force it to go to work. Besides that it controls my body and forces me to do many things to damage the mission. I have stolen 3 little girls baby dolls in the last three days. Each of these dolls was to be raise by the child in case they were to be the one to mother the next Christ which will arrive after my mission is complete. God will have to find others to mother his child. The other side has won away his 3 choices as mother.

I run naked into a bar, still with no control over my body. This is the third night that I have been raped of control of myself. I have been drinking since 10:30 this morning. 10:30 oh no, just the three days with this spirit in my body has set me back so far that my mission will now take 1030 days. God needs to watch and protect me more from this sort of thing. I feel pain as I am punched in the stomach. I feel sharpness across my face, as there is a second blow. I stand up and the third blow pushes deep into my chest and forces out the unwanted spirit with a cough of blood. I yell, “it is ok. Thank you it has left my body I am ok now thanks.” I am thrown out of the bar and land on the side street. In pain and confusion, I just lay naked in the alley for a while. You don’t know how much battling a spirit for you body takes out of you. I see lights, the spirit must have sent them I try to get up and run but it is to late. I am tackled to the ground by an officer and pushed into the back seat of the squad car.

The police talk to me, I am then forced to tell my story to the social workers. They know I am not lying but they are from the other side they just want to see how far I have progressed and slow me again. I am sentenced to two weeks captivity in a mental health ward. I don’t know how they could put me in with all these truly crazy people I know what I am doing. I also know the game of these mental wards, this being my second time forced in. You be quite and behave and say you understand things aren’t real. They can’t hold you for to long if you play there game. Last time I was here it was because my mission had lead me inside a house I rang the doorbell of this house and told them good had sent me to receive the holy waters. I kept filling plastic cups with water but the family there was for the other side and kept knocking them over and saying they would call the police if I didn’t leave. The big man who I assumed to be one of the many demons of hell, The 28th circle of hell is always the part dealing with me. You can also see the circle in the demons eyes. The demon had beat and tied me by the time the police took me. I will be out of this mental hospital soon and back on my mission. I wonder if I lost my job.

Like always my father sends me a letter while I am in the mental ward. He included some money and said to find a new place and informed me that I had lost my job again. I am very glad the demons haven’t possessed him. God must have put a ring of protection around my family. He can’t do that for me cause my mission would lead me outside of the ring making it useless. The doctor in the hospital has put me back on medication. Told me that I would be right back there if I didn’t keep taking it. I wonder how many switches have been installed in my brain as I am forced to take the medicine while in the hospital. I have to now see a psychologist 2 times a month or I will be forced to return once again. In the hospital I live in room 134 A, I noticed that this means I must get an apartment I saw for rent at 134 Aires street. Once I am release I am sure I will find the next part of my mission there.

I am free to resume the other side can’t hold me any longer. If they did the angels would rain down upon them leaving only the true human souls and sending the demons to prison. I rent the apartment it will cost 500 a month. My father sent me enough for the first 3 months. The person I am renting from I know, is sent from god to protect me. His name it Moe. That is an obvious reference to Moses, from his hints to me I believe him to be Moses son. I start pulling boards of the side of the walls looking for clues. The room was absolutely empty when I first got in it so the clues must be hidden. I pull off the 5th board and I see a pipe that says, “Hot water 198 PVC.” I am in for some hot water coming up. I must spend 198 dollars on some Pepsi cola, Videos, and corn. Spending more of my father’s money I only have rent for 2 months now. I will have to get a job perhaps I will check the mall with so many people no one would notice me.

I buy all the items need and a small TV and VCR so I can watch the videos for the next clues from the almighty above, which everyone says but ironically he doesn’t live above at all he leave around us all in the 14th dimension. I watch all the videos and I drink some Pepsi and eat some corn. Seeing the 23rd video I realize what I am supposed to do with the corn and Pepsi. The video showed a man pushing seeds deep into the earth and watering them. I realized then that I had wasted some of the corn and Pepsi so I must buy more. I then go with all my supplies to the park and I dig up holes and fill them with corn seeds and I water the seeds with my Pepsi. I then every day sit and return to watch and protect over the area. I must make sure nothing hurts these plants for the will grow high and as they die they will pull heaven from the skies down to us.

A man on the third day lays a blanket over an area of seeds. I tell him that he must move. He says no and that it is public property. I see his eyes. The Demons know my plan again, how damn them vile hell spawns. I decide that if I steal the blanket this demon not being able to survive without the blanket of protection from the holy seeds will have to move. I steal the blanket and I am right as the demon chases me and runs after me. This demon is slow and I continually avoid him. He calls the police I climb a tree to watch my seeds and hide but the other side knew of my hiding. I return to the mental hospital for a mandatory 3 months say.

During this three months. I am shown all the reports of all the different things I have claimed over the past 3 years. I have not only claimed to be on a mission for god, I was a spy for Mexico, I was the last of my alien species, I was the new Christ, and I was living underwater but could breath it as air. It was all in my own handwriting. I at first believed this to be a part of the other side’s lies. After 2 months in and the medicine I began remembering all my real life. Life before the voices, life where I had control and was the only voice. I finally was forced to accept that I must actually have this disease the doctors call schizophrenia. I decided that I would take the medicine after my release. I still have occasional problems but I know it isn’t real. I can handle them better. Sometime though I feel as if I am still just poisoning the other part of my body and its god given gifts. I just can’t handle the powers the lord bestowed on me.